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I find myself in a difficult situation.

The contract for my apartment ends in exactly one month. Currently, I am a complete and utter degenerate, with no job, no stable income other than sporadic welfare payments, and my entire life - including the apartment itself - is a complete and utter mess, from spending two years as an addict.

I have one month to achieve the following:

As I am a degenerate addict, my will to achieve, even my very survival instinct, is basically zero. I can't do it by myself, that much I know, yet for the past two years, I've pushed away or ignored anyone who could help. What does one do in this situation? Turn to God. This is a cross that I cannot carry by myself, so I will trust in God, I will pray, and I will read the Bible, and make myself believe that He will carry both me and my burden. Though I realize, God won't simply snap his fingers and fix my life, it will require me to make an immense effort and exercise my free will. Though I hope and pray for strength and guidance to do what needs to be done.

When I look back at the list that I just wrote, it doesn't look like as big of a hurdle as it seemed before getting it down in writing. Though I know there are several smaller steps that make up the whole of each point. I do also know that explicitly breaking down tasks into these smaller steps, will help my brain in overcoming them. I learned that at a job, long ago.

I will update as I go, if for nothing else than to keep myself sane.

There is no choice other than handling my shit here.

2024.03.01
- Homeless Degen